


Little Scars

by istubbedmytoe



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Anorexia, Bulimia, Cutting, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Eating Disorders, M/M, Minor Character Death, Pining, Self Harm, Suicide Attempt, short ass chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 12:02:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 12,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5827825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/istubbedmytoe/pseuds/istubbedmytoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke was great at hiding his scars. Calum knew how to pretend he was eating. Michael was skilled in the art of stealing just the right amount of pills to not be noticeable. Ashton had tried to kill himself a number of times. They all had problems, and they all found themselves stuck at Happy Hills Psychiatric Facility.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Luke hated everything. He hated his family, he hated his school, and most of all he hated his asshole friends. He hated his girlfriend, he hated his body, and he hated the fact that he was gay. There was only one thing he loved, and it was the little scars that littered his body. 

He loved that he was covered in old and new marks all up and down his arms and legs and his stomach. He loved the feeling of running his hands across the cuts, feeling the different textures. He loved that with every drag across his skin, he felt alive, he felt in control. When people saw his marks he would promise to stop, knowing that he loved it too much to quit. It was an addiction, but it was the best thing to ever happen to him.

He often thought about the first time he did it, two years prior. He was in the midst of a mental breakdown (pertaining to his questionable sexuality) and noticed a paperclip sitting on his desk. He unfolded it and pressed it to his skin, scraping it slowly. The surrounding skin turned red, so he did it again, harder. He watched as the skin peeled slightly with each forceful stroke. 

He never once regretted what he did that night, up until now, as he was sitting in the back of his dad's car, on the way to a psychiatric facility.

* * *

Calum was hungry. He was always hungry, but he loved it. He loved the feeling he got every time he successfully made it through the day without eating. He loved when his stomach was empty and he was dizzy and lightheaded. 

He hated that he had been doing this for over a year, but still wasn't skinny enough. He hated the fat that showed through everything he wore and how everyone stared at him as he walked through the halls at school. How nobody wanted to talk to the fat kid that passed out in biology once.

His mom and dad had sat him down and told him that if he didn't help himself, they were going to take action. Apparently, "take action" had meant "send you to a loony bin". That's where he found himself now, sat in his bare, too white room at Happy Hills.

* * *

Michael loved getting high. Not the basic weed buzz, but the more extreme painkiller highs. It was too easy, really, since his dad always had a steady flow of all sorts of stuff for his issues. Stressful day at school? Pop a Xanax. Got beaten up again? Oxycodone. Can't focus on anything? Adderall. 

It was a good system, considering his dad never noticed if one or two pills were missing from his bottles, there were too many to keep track of. He always thought it was fine, he wouldn't get in trouble, until his mom came into his room one day. 

She told him that she noticed his dad was running out of pills faster than usual. She interrogated him until he confessed to taking the pills. She said he had a problem and had to get it fixed. She told him that there was a new place called Happy Hills that would make him better. 

* * *

Ashton wanted to die. He needed to die. He had tried to kill himself a total of four times, as of last week. He always promised his mom that he wouldn't try to do it again, but he always had a nagging urge to just end everything. 

He tried overdosing, woke up the next morning with nothing more than a headache. Tried stabbing himself, had a nasty scar to prove it. Tried jumping off a building, broke a leg but everyone thought he just fell. Then 8 days ago he tried to hang himself, but his mom walked in before he could actually die.

He spent 4 days in the hospital recovering and apparently they told his mom that he needed to go to a place where he could be constantly monitored. His mom had to find some place cheap that would take him. She said he was going to some place called Happy Hills. Now that he's there, he knows there's nothing happy about Happy Hills.


	2. Luke Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lukey

Luke looked at his dad, "Do you guys hate me or something?"

"Luke! Why would you say that we hate you? We want you to get better!" Luke rolled his eyes and looked out the window at the fields surrounding them. He absentmindedly ran his fingers across his wrist, wincing at the pain of his latest cut.

He looked up to see a big sign that said, "Happy Hills Psychiatric Facility". He looked over at his dad with his "are you seriously doing this to me" face. His dad looked at him and sighed.

"Luke, we want you to get better. This place can help you! Maybe you'll even like it! You can meet some new friends!" 

Luke looked up at the giant building in from of him. He sunk down in his seat and groaned. 

"Don't be like that, Lukey, as soon as you're better you get to leave. Your mom and I will come visit you every weekend. Just hurry up and get better so we can have you back home where you belong." Luke got out of the car and grabbed his duffle bag. They walked in the front door to be greeted by an overly-excited receptionist. 

"Hi, welcome to Happy Hills! Do you have an appointment?" The red haired lady asked cheerfully.

"Yes, with Dr. Atley, we're here to check in Luke." 

The woman nodded and typed something on her keyboard. 

"Okay, Dr. Atley will meet you in the room directly to your right." She pointed to the door beside them and smiled. Luke's dad grabbed his shoulder lightly and led him into a small office. They were greeted by a tall man in a colorful button-up shirt.

"Ah, you must be Luke, I'm Dr. Atley." He held out his hand. Luke nodded and gently took his hand to shake it.

"And you must be Luke's father." 

Luke waited impatiently while his dad filled out all of the paperwork and made small talk with Atley. After almost an hour they finally stood up. 

"If you two would like a moment to say goodbye..." Luke shook his head.

"Alright then. Mr. Hemmings, I assume you'll be here on Saturday to visit?" 

"Yes, as will his mother." They shook hands again and he left. Luke sighed in relief, happy that his dad was finally gone. He made him feel uneasy, always hovering around him.

"Alright Luke, right this way." Dr. Atley led him through the receptionist area into a too white, too bright hallway. 

"Just so you know, you will have a roommate. You are able to wear your own clothes, but everything you brought has to be checked, to make sure you didn't bring anything...unauthorized."

Luke smirked, "You don't trust me."

Dr. Atley chuckled, "It's standard procedure."

Luke laughed nervously and scratched his neck.

"Alright, this is your stop." He opened the door to a bedroom with two twin size beds and two dressers. "Your roommate is Calum Hood. You can meet him as soon as we get you settled in. You can actually meet your entire hall at dinner. For now, we're going to head over to Ms. Fiona's office and check your things." He led him down more halls until they reached a dead end. He knocked on the door and opened it, exposing a very pink room with a very pink woman. 

"Hello Dr. Atley, and you must be our newest resident!" Luke nodded at the plump, middle-aged woman. "Are you here to have your belongings checked? Alright, let's see what you have." She grabbed his duffle bag and opened it.

"Dr. Atley, please write down everything I say." She began pulling out his things. Luke swallowed nervously.

"Deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, 9 shirts, 9 bottoms, 3 shoes, another deodorant, and a stuffed penguin."

"Ms. Fiona, check the deodorants." Dr. Atley looked over at Luke, who was rocking on his feet. Ms. Fiona opened the deodorants, finding a wad of tissues replacing the actual deodorant in one of them. 

"Luke?" Dr. Atley took the wad of tissues out and unwrapped it.

"Luke, can you tell me why you were hiding a razor blade in a deodorant container?" Dr. Atley asked, holding out the blade. Luke shrugged his shoulders and looked at his feet.

"Ms. Fiona, please dispose of this. Luke, put your things back in your bag." Luke did as he was told and followed Dr. Atley out of the room.

"Luke, we're going to talk about this tomorrow. Right now it's time for dinner. Go put your things in your room and I'll take you to the dining hall."


	3. Calum Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calll

Calum walked through the line to get his food. He was told he would be getting a new roommate today, he just hoped it would be someone interesting. He got his food and sat down at his hall's designated table and looked up to see Dr. Atley walking with a new guy. 

"Hello Calum, how are you?" 

"Hello Dr. Atley, I am just swell today. How could you not be happy in a place where you have to be supervised while taking a piss?" Calum looked over at the new guy. "Who's this?"

"This is Luke, he's your new roommate." Well at least his new roommate was cute.

"Hey, I'm Calum."

"Calum, I expect you to show Luke around, introduce him to people, make him feel comfortable."

"Will do. Have a seat, Luke." He patted the seat next to him.

"Oh, I was actually gonna go get some food."

"Here, you can have mine, I wasn't gonna eat it." He slid his tray over to Luke.

"So, what's your story, newbie?" 

"Oh, uh, I don't-" 

Calum cut him off, "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, I'm just surprised that someone so cute could get themselves locked up here."

Luke blushed, "Oh. Um, uh, I guess I just kind of, um, hate life." He chuckled.

Calum looked at him curiously. "Well, you're stuck with me now which will probably make you hate your life at least 50% more." 

"Nothing could make it worse than it already is." Luke laughed.

"Did Fiona find anything when they checked your stuff?"

Luke shrugged his shoulders and scratched his neck. "Nothing important."

The boys looked up when they heard the supervisor say dinner was over.

"Yay, time to go to Hell." 

Luke raised his eyebrow. "What's after dinner?"

"Group therapy, you probably won't have to go since it's your first day. You should probably go see Atley."

"What happens after that?"

"Social hour, then bed. Now go find Atley before we both get in trouble." He walked into the herd of people going to their designated areas. He had therapy with his hall, everyone had to stay with their hall at all times, except for eating. Each hall consisted of at most 10 people. 5 rooms in each hall, plus a bathroom. 

He walked in to the group therapy and sat down, looking around at his hall mates and sitting next to Ashton.

"Hey Calum, who was that guy you were talking to at dinner?" He looked over at Ashton, who was twitching slightly, like usual.

"That was Luke, my new roommate. Why do you ask?" Calum smirked.

Ashton blushed and drummed his fingers on his legs. "No reason, just didn't recognize him. I mean, I've only been here for a few days but I think I could recognize someone from our hall. Considering there's not that many people in our hall. I mean, there's like 8 people, but there could've been like 10 and I never noticed the other two. I'm rambling, aren't I?" He looked down at his feet.

"Well you can meet him later during social." 

Ashton paled. "Oh, no. No no no, that won't be necessary. In fact, I'm skipping social, it seems like a complete waste of time. I could be reading or doing something productive. I can't waste my time sitting around socializing, I gotta keep up with my school work!"

Calum looked at Ashton curiously as Dr. Sylvia walked in the room.

"Good evening gentlemen, how are we doing tonight?"

Everyone muttered an answer and Sylvia nodded.

"So today's topic is going to be body image and how we deal with it." Everyone groaned, but Calum just froze. He didn't have an issue with his problem, but he didn't like to talk about it in a group.

"Who here has had issues with their body image before?"

Calum, along with basically everybody else, raised his hand.

"Who here has ever forced themselves to skip eating or exercise excessively in order to lose weight?"

Calum didn't raise his hand. He didn't understand how talking about your problems in front of everyone was supposed to help, it just made him feel embarrassed. He didn't want people to think he was some basic bitch because he was starving himself, so he decided that people just didn't need to know why he was in here, unless they could be trusted. 

There wasn't really anyone here that he thought could be a good friend, besides maybe Ashton. He hoped that he and Luke would become close, considering they had to be together basically all day and night. 

After an agonizing hour about how everyone should love themselves for who they are, they finally got to leave and go to the rec room for social hour. He wasn't expecting social hour to become suicide hour.


	4. Michael Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mikey

"Mikey, are you ready?" Michael's mom asked through his cracked bedroom door.  
He moved his hand off his eyes and looked over from where he was laying in his bed.  
"Nope."  
She walked in his room and sat on the corner of the bed.  
"I know this is hard, but you need to get help. You have a serious addiction."  
Michael looked at her. "Mom, chill. It's not like, cocaine. It's fine."  
"It's just as bad! Now, get your things and go to the car. And just remember, the sooner you get better the sooner you can come home to me. I need my Mikey around here to help out."  
He rolled his eyes and sat up on the bed.   
“I’ll be out in a minute.”

His mom left the room and he went over to the door, closing it gently. He walked over to his small bedside table and opened the drawer, pulling out a small pill bottle. He kicked off one of his shoes and slid in the bottle, put his shoe back on. He headed for the door, grabbing his duffel bag on the way.

Once he made it out of the house and in the passenger seat of his mom’s car, he felt his eyes watering a bit. He wiped them dry and pulled out his phone, finding a new text.

From Kara 3:19pm  
hey. u headed 4 the loony bin yet

He rolled his eyes and typed out a response.

To Kara 4:02pm  
leavin now. u kno i wont be able to have my phone while im there right?

He felt an almost immediate response.

From Kara 4:03pm  
ya. i sure will miss u

From Kara 4:03  
and ur body

From Kara 4:03pm  
mostly ur body

Michael ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

To Kara 4:04pm  
yeah u too

To Kara 4:04pm  
i have to go. i guess ill talk to u in a few weeks

To Kara 4:04pm  
bye

He turned his phone off and handed it to his mom who was holding out her hand for it. The car started and they pulled out of the driveway. Michael watched as his house disappeared the farther away they drove. His mom tried to make small talk, but he stayed quiet, not wanting to talk to her after what she did. He remembered the day she came up to him, tears streaming down her face.

“Michael, I know that you’ve been taking your fathers’ pills.”   
Michael looked up from where he was seated on the couch, scrolling through twitter.  
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  
“Don’t deny it. We have the proof.” She held up her phone and pressed the play button on a video. It was him, going through a pill bottle and taking out a few, then placing the bottle back in the cabinet.  
“That’s not me.” He decided he wasn’t going down without a fight.   
His mom began sobbing.  
“Y-you h-have a ch-choice.” She managed between her sobs. “G-go to reh-hab or go to j-jail.”

Michael blinked, realizing there were hot tears running down his face. He quietly sniffed and wiped them away, not wanting his mom to think he was vulnerable.

Eventually they pulled into a parking lot. Michael looked over at his mom and realized she was crying.

“Ma, don’t cry. It’ll only be a few weeks.”

“I know.” She sniffed and turned off the car. “Let’s do this.”


	5. Ashton Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> v short ash

Ashton walked through the hallway nervously and twiddled his thumbs. He payed no attention to the people he passed. The more he walked, the more his mind raced. He finally got to his room and shut the door. He turned around and slid down the door, resting his head in his hands. He let out a deep sigh and looked up, into the mirror across the room. He had an idea.  
Ashton got to his feet and walked over to the twin bed that was pushed up against the wall. He reached under the bed and pulled out the small suitcase he had brought with him. It had a hard casing, making it pretty strong. He walked back over to the small mirror on the wall. He slammed the suitcase into the mirror, making it shatter. He gently placed the suitcase back under the bed and went back over to the mirror.  
He bent down and picked up a large piece of the broken glass, grasped it tightly. The sharp edges dug into his skin causing a few drops of blood to trickle down his hand. He placed the glass against his wrist and started pressing down. He let out a small gasp and started to drag the blade across his vein. He only stopped when he heard footsteps and voices passing his closed door, then continued. He kept slicing his wrist, over and over again and again and again until he slowly lost consciousness.  
-  
“Shit, shit, shit! Ashton you idiot, don’t you dare die! You do not get to give up this easy!” Ashton felt pressure on his arm as he woke up, which quickly turned into blinding pain. A hand pressed against his mangled wrist and he let out a choked cry.  
“You’re alive! Thank God!” Ashton slowly opened his eyes to reveal a panicked Calum, minus a shirt. He quickly realized that the shirt was wrapped around his arm to try and stop the bleeding. Calum stood up and frantically walked over to the door and looked out in the hallway.  
“Luke! Thank God, come in here!” Ashton winced, he didn’t want the pretty boy to see him like this, all broken and bloody. What would he think?  
“Shit dude, what happened?” Luke asked as he swept in the room.  
“I don’t know the details, I just found him like this. God, I just wanted to borrow a book.”  
“Calum, go get someone to help, I’ll stay here and make sure he doesn’t die.”   
Ashton watched Calum hurry out of the room, and Luke sat down next to him.  
“Please don’t die, okay? I don’t know you at all, I don’t even know your name, but I would really like you to not die. I think we could be good friends if you could like, not die.”  
Calum walked in the room with Fiona, who was holding quite a large first-aid kit.  
“Ashton, what have you done?” Fiona kneeled next to him and opened the kit, pulling out bandages and various liquids. Ashton slowly lost consciousness again as he heard Calum start to cry.


	6. Luke Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yike

Luke walked to his room after dinner and quietly shut the door. He opened his duffle bag and pulled out a red Converse. He thought that the deodorant idea was genius, but apparently it had been done before. The shoe however, must have been less obvious. He reached inside the shoe and pulled out the wad of tissue, unwrapping it to reveal a perfect razor blade. Brand new, never used, very sharp. He rolled up his sleeve and pressed the blade against his arm. His hand just started moving when he heard someone yelling.  
“Shit, shit, shit!” Luke looked toward the door and rolled down his sleeve. He pocketed the razor and went out into the hallway to see Calum frantically looking around the hall for someone.  
“Luke, thank God! Come in here!” Luke followed Calum into a room and saw someone covered in blood.  
“Shit dude, what happened?” He asked, shocked by all of the blood.  
“I don’t know the details, I just found him like this. God, I just wanted to borrow a book.” Calum shakily checked the shirt wrapped around the boy's arm.  
“Calum, go get someone to help, I’ll stay here and make sure he doesn’t die.” Luke sat down next to the boy and felt numb. He didn’t even know this boy but he felt like he did, he could see himself being friends with him, but he had to be alive for that.  
“Please don’t die, okay? I don’t know you at all, I don’t even know your name, but I would really like you to not die. I think we could be good friends if you could like, not die.” Luke watched the boy cry silently, as Calum rushed in the room with that lady from earlier, the one that busted him for the razor.  
“Ashton, what have you done?” The lady started pulling out things to wrap (Ashton?) up. He watched the boy start to drift off. Calum started crying.  
“Okay, Luke I need you to go to Dr. Atley’s office. Do you know where that is?”  
Luke shook his head and looked back at the now unconscious boy.  
“Okay, go down the hall towards the cafeteria, right before the cafeteria there’s a hallway, go down it and count three doors down on the right. He should be in there.”  
Luke looked up at her and shook his head.  
“What if he’s not in there?” He asked, voice shaking.  
“He will be. Now, go. Run if you have to.” Luke nodded and got up, quickly going to the door and running down the hall. He got lost once, but eventually ended up in front of Atley’s office. He knocked twice, opening the door. Dr. Atley was talking to a boy with red hair. They both looked at Luke. Atley quickly stood up and looked at Luke.  
“Luke, what happened? Are you okay? Is that your blood?” Luke looked down and saw a blood stain through the sleeve of his shirt.  
“Someone’s hurt. The lady made me come get you.”  
“Ms Fiona?” Luke nodded and Atley walked over to him.  
“Michael, stay here.” The red haired boy nodded. “Come on Luke.”  
They quickly walked down the hall, Luke leading them to the boy’s room.  
“My God.” Atley said as they walked through the door.  
Calum was sitting on the small bed in the corner rocking back and forth. Fiona had wrapped up the boy’s arm with bandages, but it was still bleeding. The boy had woken up, but he looked very dazed.  
“Okay, I’ll take him over to the hospital. He seems to have lost a lot of blood.” Atley helped the boy up and basically carried him out of the room.  
“Well damn.” Luke simply stated.  
“Okay boys, head back to your room. It’s past lights out.” Fiona said, looking dazed. Calum stopped rocking and stood up, quickly walking out of the room.  
“Do you need any help cleaning this up?” Luke asked Fiona, not quite wanting to be stuck in his room yet.  
“No, I got it, but you should probably go change your shirt. You got some blood on yours.”  
Luke nodded and walked back to his room where Calum was sat on his bed staring blankly ahead.  
“Hey, you okay?”   
Calum looked up at him. “Not really, Ashton’s kinda my only friend here, I need him to not be dead. He’s so nice, I just don’t understand why he feels the need to die.”  
“Sometimes it’s just like that. Don’t worry though, I’m sure he’ll be fine.”  
Calum nodded and looked at Luke’s arm. “That’s not Ashton’s blood, is it?”  
Luke bit his lip and shook his head. “I guess we’re all a little fucked up, huh?”


	7. Calum Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i call this one "day in the life of cal"

Calum woke to the sound of soft crying. He carefully opened his eyes to see Luke sliding a razor blade across his arm.   
“Damn it, Luke.” He whispered, not expecting him to hear.   
Luke sniffed. “I thought you were asleep.”  
“I was. You can’t keep doing this, man. You’re in this place to get better.”  
“No, I’m in this place because my parents want me to get better. I don’t have an issue with what I do.”  
Calum furrowed his eyebrows. “Then why are you crying?”  
“Because a boy I don’t even know tried to kill himself the same day I got here and he’s still in the hospital. It’s been three days, he should be out by now.” He sniffed and stuck the razor blade under his pillow.  
“That’s just policy for attempted suicide patients. He’ll probably be out soon. Just, don’t worry too much.”  
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Go back to sleep.”  
Calum nodded and rolled over, quickly drifting off to sleep.  
*  
“Hey, it’s Calum, right?” Calum looked up from his book to see a tall, dark haired boy, whose name he couldn’t remember.  
“Yeah. Did you need something?”  
The boy looked around and sat down on the couch next to him. “I was wondering if you could talk to your roommate for me. Tell him I’m interested in what he has, and in return I can give him something to be interested in.”  
Calum blinked. “Look dude, I’m not setting up some type of drug-deal-prostitution thing. You’re asking the wrong person.”   
The boy laughed. “No, no, nothing like that,” the boy smirked. “Just a little stress relief.”  
Calum furrowed his eyebrows. “Could you elaborate?”  
The boy sighed and scratched his neck. “Look, I’ve seen his cuts. They’re recent. Just ask him if I can borrow his blade.”  
“Okay, no. First of all, why would I let you do that to yourself? And second of all, that seems unsanitary.”  
“Whatever,” the boy sighed. “Tell him that I want to talk to him.”  
“Dude, I don’t even know your name.”   
“Brendon.” He said looking annoyed.  
“Wait, just talk to him yourself.”  
Brendon rolled his eyes, muttered a “whatever”, and walked away.  
*  
“Calum, you have to step on the scale.” He looked up at Fiona who was looking rather impatient. He gently placed one foot on the scale, then the other. He held his breath as the digital numbers stopped moving. 109.  
“Calum, you’ve lost three pounds. I thought you were eating.” Fiona had that sickening, worried look on her face.  
“I have.” He tried to insist.  
“Calum, you know what’s going to happen if you lose any more weight, right?”  
“Hospital, feeding tube, blah blah blah. I’ve heard it all before. I’ll do better, okay?”  
Fiona looked skeptical, but allowed him to go ahead to therapy anyway.  
“How are you feeling, Calum?” Dr. Hayes asked from across her desk.  
“I’m feeling great. Honestly, there’s not even a real reason we need to meet today.” He said, hoping she would let him leave early.  
“Yeah, except for it’s mandatory and also you’re sick.”  
Calum rolled his eyes. “I’m fine today, really.”  
“Calum, Ms. Fiona tells me you’ve lost some more weight.”  
“Just a few pounds, it’s no big deal.”  
“Calum, you need all the pounds you can get. You’re so thin, you look like you could just snap in two.”  
“So what? Lots of people are thin and nobody worries about them. Why worry about me?”  
“Because those people aren’t four pounds away from a hospital stay.”  
Calum rolled his eyes. “Whatever, I’m fine. Can I go now?”  
Dr. Hayes clicked her tongue. “I’ll have to mark it as a skipped session.”  
Calum stood up, said “then so be it.” and walked out of the office.  
*  
Calum ate. A lot. He ate his dinner, as well as half of Luke’s dinner and most of Patrick (their hallmate)’s dinner. People stared at him, not used to seeing him eat, but he didn’t care. He was hungry. Plus, he didn’t plan on keeping any of it. He walked through the building toward his hall, having decided he was going to skip group. He got to the hall and headed for the bathroom. Once his stomach was empty and he was drained of energy, he went back to his room and fell fast asleep.


	8. Michael Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lil mikey drabble

Michael walked through the white walls of Happy Hills. He followed a doctor wearing too bright clothes.   
“Right in here, Michael.” The man gestured into an office. He sat down in one of the chairs across the desk.  
“So Michael, I understand that you’re in here for a drug addiction?” Michael nodded. “Okay, that makes protocol slightly different. You have to have a drug test now, and another one next week. After that they will occur randomly at least twice a month. Right now, I need to finish up some paperwork I have for you. If you could just sit quietly.”  
Michael looked around the office that was very similar to the doctor; bright. Everything had patterns and colors of all types. Michael looked up when the door opened, revealing a disheveled looking boy.  
“Luke, what happened? Are you okay? Is that your blood?” The boy looked down at the blood covering his arm.  
“Someone’s hurt. They made me come get you.” His voice was shaky.  
“Ms. Fiona?” The doctor asked and the boy nodded.  
He turned to Michael. “Stay here. Come on Luke.”  
They both swept out of the room, leaving Michael alone. After a few minutes he decided that he would rather not sit there, and decided to give himself a tour.  
He walked through the endless hall peering into offices and bedrooms. He bumped into an anxious looking boy, who stuttered a small “sorry” and was followed by another boy who had red hair. Michael liked that he wasn’t the only one with red hair, it made him feel less alone. Eventually, he stumbled upon a room where a group of boys sat behind a TV, watching some game show, and another group sat gathered around a table playing a card game.   
He walked up to the boys playing cards, who introduced themselves as Patrick, Brendon, Pete, and Troye. They invited him to join the game, go fish, so he sat down and dealt himself in.  
“So Michael,” Brendon said. “What are you in here for?”  
Michael scratched his neck and shrugged. “My parents are convinced I’m a druggie.”  
“Welcome to the club.” Pete muttered, quietly.  
*  
The doctor found Michael in the middle of a heated game of go fish.  
“Michael, you weren’t supposed to leave my office.”  
He shrugged as he drew a card from the deck. “I got bored.”  
The older man crossed his arms and huffed. “Come on, we need to go see Ms. Fiona and then show you to your room.”  
Michael let out an exaggerated sigh as he stood up, laying down his cards. The other boys seemed annoyed too, as it had been a very fun game. Michael followed the doctor back to his office, where he grabbed his suitcase. He was then led to an office where a rather frazzled looking woman sat.  
“Okay, you know what to do, Fiona. I’m going to go deal with the, uhm, paperwork.” He left the room looking quite distressed.  
Fiona sighed and opened the bag, rummaging through quickly. Michael rocked on his feet nervously and chewed on his fingernails. The lady closed up the bag and wrote something down on a piece of paper.  
“You’re free to go.”  
Michael sighed quietly and grabbed his bag.  
Uh, where exactly do I go?” He realized nobody told him anything with whatever was going on.  
“Oh, right, uhm,” she typed something in on her computer. “Okay, come with me, I can show you to your room.”  
They walked down the hallways until they reached a door. Michael noticed that this hallway smelled very strongly of cleaning supplies, more than the other halls did. He brushed it off as they walked into the room.  
“Michael, this is Josh, he’ll be your roommate. Josh, you better be nice.” She left the room and Michael went over to the empty bed. He looked over at the other boy, the one with red hair that he saw earlier.  
“What are you in for?” The boy asked.  
“Mostly pills.” Michael said, shrugging.  
The boy grinned semi-menacingly. “I think we’ll be good friends.”


	9. Ashton Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah okay this is literally the shortest chapter in the world but it still counts okay

Ashton woke up. The lights were too bright. He recognized the hospital smell and sighed, knowing that it meant that he had failed. Again. He decided that he wasn’t ready to live again yet and went back to sleep.  
*  
“Ashton. Ashton? Ashton!” Ashton opened his eyes and saw his mother, looking more worried than ever. “Oh sweetie, don’t you dare try and leave me ever again.” Yeah this wasn’t happening.  
*  
“Mr. Irwin, I’m Dr. Avery, I just need to ask you some questions.” Ashton groaned and shook his head. The voice laughed. “You don’t need talk, just nod yes or no. Do you know where you are?” Ashton nodded. The hospital, duh. “Good. Do you know what happened?” Ashton nodded again, how could he forget? “Okay, do you know what day it is?” Ashton thought about it and shook his head. “Today is friday.” Friday? That’s not possible. He came in on Saturday, there’s no way he could have slept for a week. “This means you haven’t moved in a week, which means you need to get up now, before you get too stiff.”   
Ashton groaned and finally opened his eyes. Standing in front of him was the prettiest doctor he had ever seen.  
“Ashton you are okay? Your heart’s speeding up.” Ashton looked over to the monitor and saw that his heart was, in fact, beating quite rapidly.  
“O-oh.” He stuttered out, voice raspy.   
Dr. Avery chuckled. “It’s regulating now, so you’re okay. So how about we get you on your feet, huh?”  
Ashton sighed and nodded, throwing back the blanket. He froze when he saw his heavily bandaged arm.  
“Alright Ashton, can you try and get up?”  
He swung his legs over the bed slowly and put his feet on the floor. Dr. Avery grabbed his hand so he could have some support and Ashton blushed.  
After a while of walking around the halls of the hospital, Ashton asked, “When will I get to go home?”  
“Well, Ashton, you won’t be able to go home to your family for quite a while, but you should be returning to Happy Hills by tomorrow.” Ashton sighed. He didn’t want to go back there, they probably are gonna make him do more therapy, if not put him in isolation or something. Or, they could just act like it never happened. He would just have to wait and see.


	10. Luke Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wowie wowie short chap

Luke couldn’t sleep. He could never sleep anymore. He rolled over and looked at the clock. It read 4:09. He then looked at Calum, who was snoring softly. He knew it was dangerous, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to sleep. After making four straight lines on his leg, he was finally able to fall asleep.

 

_“Luke, don’t go. Please!”_

_Luke looked at the boy, who had tears running down his face. “Daniel, I can’t do this. This isn’t me! I have a girlfriend and I love her. I’m straight. I can’t be gay!” He yelled at the boy, who started letting out quiet sobs. Luke realized he was also crying, and wiped away his tears. “Daniel, I’m sorry. It’s just not who I am.”_

_Daniel looked at him coldly. “If this isn’t affecting you then why are you crying?”_

_Luke stopped and looked at Daniel. “I can’t.” He ran away. Suddenly he was falling into darkness._

_“Luke!” He heard Daniel calling for him. “Luke! Luke! Luke!”_

 

“Luke!” Luke shot up in his bed. Calum was stood over him, looking worried.

“Dude, you were panting like you were dying. You scared me.”

Luke felt himself shaking, covered in a cold sweat. “O-oh, I guess I just had a bad dream.”

“Well it’s time to get up. Breakfast is in ten minutes.”

Luke looked at the clock that read 6:50. He sighed and peeled himself off of his bed, wincing at the pain he felt. After changing clothes and brushing his teeth in the small sink in the room, they headed down to breakfast together.

“Calum! Luke!” They turned around to see Fiona jogging towards them. “Boys, Ashton is coming back today. I need you two to watch him. Hang out with him, just make sure he isn’t alone too much.”

Calum nodded while Luke just looked confused. Fiona walked away and Calum continued walking to the cafeteria.

“What does she mean by “watch him”? We have to babysit him?” Luke asked, truly confused.

“I know I’ve been here longer than you so I’ll explain. If somebody tries to commit suicide, they stay at the hospital for a week, then they’re sent back here for suicide watch. Usually two people that are seen as friends to the person are assigned to watching them for at least a week or until the person seems better.”

“So we’re babysitting.” Luke said, slightly smirking.

“Pretty much.”


	11. Calum Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 900 words bitches

Calum woke up to the sound of very heavy panting. He looked at Luke who was sweating, and acting like he could barely breathe.  
“Luke?” He walked over to Luke’s bed and looked at him. He was asleep. “Luke.” Luke continued panting, and it seemed as if he was crying, too. “Luke!” Luke opened his eyes and jumped up.  
“Dude, you were panting like you were dying. You scared me.”  
Luke looked around and rubbed his eyes. “O-oh. I guess I just had a bad dream.”  
-  
Calum looked up to see Ashton walking in the cafeteria with a fairly heavily bandaged arm. He looked over at Luke who was slightly pale and looking down at his waffles.  
“Hey, are you okay?” He placed his hand on looks arm, and he flinched away.  
“Yeah, just a little tired.”  
He was about to respond when Ashton walked up.  
“Hi. They told me to come find you guys. I guess you’re my suicide watch?”  
Calum laughed nervously and nodded. Ashton gently sat down next to him and fiddled with his fingers.  
“So how was the hospital?” Calum asked, trying to make small talk.  
“I don’t know, I slept the whole week. They must have had me fucked up with some great drugs.”  
Calum laughed, happy to see that Ashton at least still had a sense of humor. He looked over to see if Luke was also laughing, to see that he had left. Calum sighed and turned back to Ashton.  
“So, were there any hot doctors there?”  
-  
Calum peeked around the corner to make sure the coast was clear, then ran down the hall to Fiona’s office. He knew she wasn’t in there because she was joining Ashton in his therapy. He slipped in the room and turned on the light, illuminating the scale. He quickly stripped out of his clothes and stepped on the scale. 99.5.  
Calum let out a quiet, content sigh and stepped off, putting his clothes back on. He quickly walked back to his room thinking about what he could do to make himself heavier before his weigh-in. He found his heaviest sweater and pants and shoes, and quickly drank four bottles of water. He then sat on his bed for fifteen minutes trying to think of what else he could do, and remembered the gym that the staff uses sometimes. He quickly walked to the gym and slipped inside, seeing exactly what he wanted. He walked over to the ankle and wrist weights and slipped them on. They were each three pounds.  
Calum walked as quickly as he could (with the weights) back to his room, where he waited for Fiona to come get him.  
“Sorry I’m late, Calum. Are you ready for your weigh-in?” Fiona cheerily greeted, standing at the doorway.  
“Yes ma’am, let’s do it.”  
Calum could see that Fiona was nervous as they walked down the hallway towards her office. She kept giving him little side glances and wiping her hands on her legs.  
When they reached the office, Fiona gestured toward the scale. Calum stepped on and held his breath.  
“114! Calum! That’s excellent! You gained five pounds! I’m so proud of you!” She hugged him tightly and he chuckled nervously, stepping away.  
“Thanks Fiona, just trying to get better.”  
“That’s wonderful Calum. You may go to social hour now.”  
Calum left the office, walking back to his room to change and take off the weights, then stopping by the bathroom to pee. Then he walked to the common room for social hour.  
“Yo, Calum! Come play with us!” He walked over to the table where his hallmates were playing Uno. He looked around at everyone at the table; Troye, Pete, Josh, Luke, Tyler, Patrick, Brendon, Ashton, and a new boy. He had red hair, like Josh, and looked like he had stories for days. The boy looked up at Calum, who had definitely been staring at him, and quickly blushed, looking down.  
After five heated rounds of Uno were over, the all started to head back to their rooms for lights out. Calum was just about to leave the room when he heard, “Hey.”  
Calum spun around to see the new boy smirking at him.  
“O-oh. U-uh, hi.” He stuttered out, blushing like mad.  
“I’m Michael.” He said smoothly, and held out his hand for Calum to shake.  
“C-calum. I-uh haven’t seen you around. You’re new.” Calum stated, obviously nervous.  
Michael leaned against the wall and put his foot up, stretching his beautiful body and smirking. “Yeah, I just got her like, a week ago. Haven’t really been allowed to have social time yet. Well, except for when I did it without asking. But you can ask me about that later, yeah? Well I guess we’d better be off to bed, wouldn’t want to get in trouble, again. See ya around Calum.” He walked out of the room, intentionally brushing against Calum as he went.  
Calum stood, stuck in that spot, unable to process what just happened. He was very aware of his bright red face and thin layer of sweat on the back of his neck. He slowly walked back to his room trying to understand what that all meant.  
“Mate, why do you look like that?” Luke asked from his bed as he walked in the room.  
Calum ran his hand through his hair and laughed. “I think I’m going crazy.”


	12. Michael Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wowie two fairly sized chapters in one day what am i doing with my life

Michael was sat playing Uno with his hallmates. He actually really like playing card games, and the more playing, the better. He was in the middle of kicking everyone’s ass when Pete said, “Yo, Calum, come play with us!” He looked up to see, arguably, the prettiest boy he had ever seen. He had dark brown hair with a streak dyed blonde, and he was wearing a tank top and black skinny jeans over his skinny frame. He stared at the boy as he sat down and dealt himself in, only looking away when his eyes began looking at everyone in the group. He looked back up at the boy to find his eyes already on him. He smirked and the boy blushed and lowered his head.  
As everyone was leaving, Michael decided he was going to have some fun while he was locked up in this hell-hole.  
“Hey.” He said to the boy, confidence showing through.  
The boy spun around, obviously surprised. “O-oh. U-uh, hi.”  
Michael smirked even more at the boy’s blush. “I’m Michael.” He said, and held out his hand.  
The boy took it and gently shook it. “C-calum. I-uh haven’t seen you around. You’re new.”  
Michael leaned against the wall, wanting to seem cool. He purposefully stretched his body out, wanting the boy’s eyes on him. “Yeah, I just got here like, a week ago. Haven’t really been allowed to have social time yet. Well, except for when I did it without asking. But you can ask me about that later, yeah? Well I guess we’d better be off to bed, wouldn’t want to get in trouble, again. See ya around Calum.” He said all of this while Calum just looked quite shocked. He walked past Calum, purposefully pressing his body against the boy’s as he walked by, lingering for just a millisecond. He continued smirking as he left the room, all the way to his bedroom.  
“What are you smirking at?” His roommate, Josh, asked.  
“Just making friends.” He replied, sitting on his bed. “So, uh, what’s worst case scenario if I go take a shower right now?” He asked, knowing it had been a few days.  
“They won’t kick you out of the shower if you’re able to get in without them noticing, but afterwards you’ll probably get a warning.”  
Michael contemplated, then asked “What happens if I get a warning?”  
“Get two more and you lose social privileges for two days, nothing too serious.”  
Michael nodded and grabbed some clothes. “I’ll take my chances.”  
-  
Michael walked slowly through the halls, mind racing. Who was Calum? Why was he in here? What was his story?  
He opened the bathroom door to hear the only working shower running. He decided to sit on the (gross) floor and wait until the person was finished.  
Michael sat for a good half hour and was about to give up and leave when the shower turned off. He sighed with relief and stood up, about to scold whoever was taking so long. The curtain opened and it was Calum. Naked Calum. Michael stood staring, while Calum stood looking shocked.  
Michael couldn’t help but eye-fuck the other boy, who finally registered what was happening.  
“Shit! What are you doing in here?” He asked, while frantically grabbing for a towel.  
“Well I came in here to get clean, but right now I’m feeling pretty dirty.” He said in all honesty. He could feel the growing bulge in his pants at the sight of the naked boy. In his defense, he hadn’t been with someone (other than faking it with girls) in a very long time.  
“W-well it’s all yours.” The boy responded, holding a towel against himself very tightly around his small frame.  
“I know you’re talking about the shower, but I’m just gonna imagine you’re talking about your body.”  
Calum gasped and let out a half laugh. Michael was laughing too, his comment being a half-joke.  
“I’m gonna go get dressed now.” He said, a slight smile on his face. Michael nodded and moved out from in front of the door.  
He watched Calum quickly walk out of the bathroom, still holding the towel around himself.  
Michael groaned and rubbed his fingers through his hair, looking down at the obvious tent in his sweatpants. This would be a long shower.


	13. Ashton Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay but seriously what am i doing with my life. i have work i could be doing!!

Ashton hated that he had to be on suicide watch. It wasn’t the absolute worst thing in the world, but it was still pretty awful. Calum was with him most of the week, other than therapy time and after lights out. All Ashton wanted was some time to himself. He was crazy behind on all of his school work and he just wanted to chill out and catch up.   
Calum always insisted that they do something “fun” whenever they had spare time. Calum’s idea of fun was skipping group therapy to go play games with people from other halls (which was very unallowed).  
Ashton sighed as Calum caught up to him on the way to breakfast. Luke was with him, for the first time this week (it had been four days), and he looked very drained wearing a baggy sweatshirt.  
“Hey Ash, how are you feeling?” Calum asked cheerily.   
Ashton internally groaned. “I feel fine, Calum. You really don’t have to keep asking.”  
Calum shrugged and kept walking. When they got to the cafeteria, they entered the long line to the kitchen.  
Calum looked at the menu posted on the wall and grinned. “They have waffles! They never have waffles!”  
Ashton and Luke both wore matching confused expressions.   
“I thought you didn’t eat?” Ashton asked after a few minutes.  
“I do if the food is good enough.” Calum responded, shrugging. Ashton had the sinking feeling that Calum was just going to throw it up later.  
They got their food and sat down and Ashton noticed that Luke wasn’t eating.  
“Aren’t you hungry, Luke?” He asked, worrying about the boy. He knew that Luke wasn’t in here for an eating disorder, judging by the cuts he often saw.  
Luke looked up at him and shrugged.  
“Can I have your waffles Lukey?” Calum asked in a baby voice. Ashton didn’t know what was going on with these two, but he had a feeling they were both getting worse.  
\--  
“Ashton, do you hear voices in your head?”   
Ashton snorted. “You think I’m schizo?”  
“No, I’m not saying that. I’m asking if you hear voices in your head.” Dr. Timm looked at him with a half-glare.  
“No, I don’t hear voices in my head. And no, the walls don’t talk to me, so don’t even ask.”  
Dr. Timm closed her notebook. “You can go, Ashton. But tomorrow, I want serious answers from you.”  
Ashton left therapy five minutes early and headed toward the social room, hoping other people would be there that he could play games with. He walked through the door to see Luke asleep on one of the couches. He seemed to be having a bad dream, so Ashton did the only thing he could think to help him.  
He sat down on the couch and pulled Luke’s head into his lap, running his fingers through his hair. Luke stopped shaking and hummed, so Ashton continued. After about a minute and a half, Luke woke up.  
“What the fuck.”  
Ashton jumped up and held his hands up in surrender. “You were having a bad dream. Just trying to help. I’ll just...go.” He started to walk out when Luke stopped him.  
“Wait, stay.” He sat up and patted where Ashton had been sitting. “I like when people play with my hair.”  
Ashton stared at Luke, who looked kind of sheepish. He shrugged and sat down, Luke laying his head back in his lap. They sat there for a while until people started coming in for social hour and Luke jumped up.   
“I-I’m gonna go.” He said and left. Ashton sat on the couch, feeling confused at what just happened.  
“Ash, you okay?” Calum asked, walking in the room.   
Ashton groaned.


	14. Luke Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay its been like a whole week since ive posted wowie, (im sorry ive been going through some shit and now i have finals all week) so in return heres a 1100 word chapter feat. luke the hoe. just a lil warning that there is some smuttysmut in here so dont read if ur not into that, you can read a lil summary at the bottom.

Luke looked down into the toilet he had just thrown up in. He knew that it was a bad thing to do, but he couldn’t stop himself from circling the drain to self-destruction. He flushed the toilet and leaned against the stall door, pulling his blade out of his pocket. He rolled up his sleeve to find that there was no room to cut there. He sighed, pulling down his jeans to do his thighs instead. He didn’t really want to do his thighs, because they were sensitive. It always felt better on his arms. He made ten slices across his thigh and watched the blood bubble up.   
Luke jumped when the door to the bathroom opened, and quickly stood up, wiping the blood off of his leg with toilet paper and pulling up his pants. He walked out of the stall to find Brendon, with a slight smirk.   
“They said I could probably find you in here.”  
Luke ran his fingers through his hair. “What do you want?” He noticed that his voice was slightly shaky.  
“You have something I want.” His eyes darted to Luke’s arm.  
“What are you talking about?” Luke asked, not knowing how he could have found out about him having a razor blade.  
“Your cuts are fresh dude. All I’m asking for is a little release? Can’t you make that happen for me? I could give you something in return.” His eyes darted down to Luke’s crotch.  
“Are you really whoring yourself out just to cut?” Luke asked, slightly confused as to what exactly was happening.  
“Desperate times, man.” He did look very desperate.   
“Okay, fine. Ten minutes with my blade for a blowie. But I expect you to thoroughly clean it afterward. That shits unsanitary.”  
“You got yourself a deal.”   
“Do you want to do this now or later?” Luke asked, just wanting to leave the bathroom.  
“Later, after lights out. Social room. I’ll meet you there. Don’t get caught.” With that, Brendon turned to leave. “Oh, and by the way,” He added, “I would blow you anytime, for free.” And he left.  
Luke sank down to the floor, unsure of what just happened. It was like something took over his body, and he was unable to say what he really wanted to say. That had been happening a lot, causing more cutting, and the starving and the puking. He felt like he didn’t have control anymore.  
\--  
Luke slipped out of the room, telling Calum he was going to take a shower, and quickly made his way through the hall to the social room. He was nervous, but excited. He had never gotten a blowjob from a guy before, only his girlfriend, so he was very curious to see how this would play out. Also, Brendon was pretty hot, if he was being honest. Said hot boy was sitting on the couch as Luke entered the room.  
“Right on time, pretty boy.” Brendon said, standing up. “So, how do you want to do this?”  
Luke was suddenly very nervous, and didn’t know how they were supposed to do it. “Uhh, whatever you want.”  
Brendon though for a minute, then seeming decided, walked up to Luke and pulled him in by his hips. “Is kissing allowed? He asked, mouth right next to Luke’s ear.  
Luke’s was blushing like mad, and quickly nodded.  
Brendon grinned. “Wonderful.” And quickly latched his lips onto Luke’s.  
Luke sighed into the other boy, quickly noticing the difference between kissing girls and guys.  
Brendon lead them back to the couch, where they fell onto it, Brendon on top.  
Luke moaned while Brendon did all the work grinding into him.   
Luke unattached his lips for a moment, to ask, “I-I thought this w-was a b-blowjob?” He got out in between pants.  
“We’re getting to that, why? Afraid you’ll cum in your pants?” Brendon asked, with a smirk.  
Luke blushed even harder, if that was possible. “N-no! Maybe. I haven’t really been with a guy before, it’s very, uhm, new.”  
Brendon smirked even more. “I guess I should make a memorable then, huh?” He said, grinding down.  
Luke let out a squeak and pulled Brendon’s head down toward his own. They made out for who knows how long, until Luke whimpered. “I-I’m close.”  
Brendon chuckled. “Not yet, pretty boy. We haven’t even gotten to the best part.” He peeled himself off of Luke, Luke whimpering when he was flooded with cold. Brendon ran his hands down Luke’s stomach, to his inner thighs.   
Luke kept blushing, knowing his dick had to be noticeable through his hella skinny jeans. Brendon unbuttoned the jeans, pulling them down his thighs, pausing when he saw the fresh cuts, then continuing like he had seen nothing.  
Luke found his hand going toward his dick, aching to be touched. He had just wrapped his hand around it when Brendon swatted it away.  
“None of that. I’m going to be the one to get you off.”  
Luke kept blushing and nodded, retreating his hand. “Could you maybe do it soon, though? Please?”  
Brendon chuckled, positioning himself so that he was facing Luke’s dick.   
“Please Brendon. I’ll give you an extra five minutes with it if you hurry the fuck-” He was cut off by Brendon wrapping his lips around the tip of his dick. Luke let out a deep moan and resisted the urge to buck up his hips. Brendon then began doing godlike things with his mouth. “Jesus fucking christ, holy shit.” Luke could feel himself getting dangerously close to the edge, very fast. “B-brendon, I-I’m-” Brendon cut him off by sucking his fucking brains out, and Luke was cumming with a deep moan.  
After he came down from the high, he looked at Brendon, who was blushing, and palming himself through his sweatpants. “Holy fuck.”  
Luke laughed. “You blew me, I think I’m the one who should be saying that.”  
Brendon looked up at him. “Yeah, but that was fucking hot.”  
Luke blushed (even more) and scratched his neck. “I mean, if you think it’s worth it, we could make this a thing.”  
“What, I blow you whenever I want to cut?” Brendon asked, now jerking himself inside his pants.  
“I-I don’t see why not.” He scooted over to Brendon and pulled his sweatpants down just under his balls. Brendon cocked an eyebrow and Luke reached his hand out and stroked Brendon’s dick. “I mean, it was good for me, and maybe I could blow you sometimes too.”  
Brendon laughed shakily, face flushed from what was happening. “Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of whoring myself out?”  
“Think of it as more of a favor to me. I don’t know shit about sucking dick, but you obviously do. You could teach me some things, through like, trial and error.”  
“So like, friend with benefits?” Brendon asked, bucking his hips into Luke’s hand.  
“Exactly! With like, extra cutting benefits.” Luke tightened his grip on the other boy’s dick.  
“I think we can be very good friends, pretty boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lil summary: remember brendon? the guy who "wants what luke has"? ye he is def getting what he wants and luke (the lil hoe) is gettin a brojob. also they are gonna be friends with benefits. PLS dont worry, they are NOT going to have a romantic relationship, i dont even know where i was trying to go with this chapter it has been a LONG WEEK. also happ memorial day frens


	15. Calum Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shorty chapp in typical me fashion. pls check the notes at the bottom for me pls also ily

Calum was confused. He didn’t really know what was happening, except that he was sitting alone with Michael on the social room couch.  
“So, uhm, why exactly are we here?” Calum asked, looking at the clock that read 2:53 am.  
“Well, I’ve been having some trouble sleeping, so I wanted some company.”  
“So you come into my room and wake me up? This is dangerous, we could get in serious trouble.”  
“It’s not like we’re fucking,” Michael dragged the word out. “We’re just talking.”  
“What did you want to talk about?” Calum wrapped his arms around his stomach, noticing it was growling loudly.  
“You, me, this place, anything really.”  
Calum laughed nervously. “Why would you ever want to talk about me?”  
Michael thought for a moment, then said, “Well, typically when you like someone you want to know about them.”  
Calum blushed furiously.   
“So, Calum, why exactly are you here?”  
“Well, one day, my parents thought, ‘Hey, let’s have a baby.’ and then nine months later,” Calum gestured his entire body.  
Michael tilted his head and smiled, like a puppy. “Not quite what I meant.”  
“I don’t know, everyone is convinced I have like, an eating disorder or something, even though I don’t.” Calum said, trying his best to open up.  
Michael looked at him for a minute then shrugged. “My parents are convinced that I’m a druggie, even though I’m not. So I guess we’re in the same boat.”  
“What kind of drugs?” Calum decided to ask after a while.  
“Mostly pills. It helped with the stress. My parents always expected me to be extraordinary with everything, but one day, it all was just too much. I had constant headaches and I was tired of it. I was only looking for some tylenol, but I found my dad’s stash from when he had an accident.”  
Calum shrugged and nodded. “That’s fair.”  
Michael laughed. “So, do you like, not eat, or what?”  
“I skip meals sometimes.” He shrugged. “It’s really no big deal.”  
“That’s fair.”  
*  
“What’s wrong with you, bro? You aren’t eating, you’re sneaking out of the room every night, I’m worried about you.”  
Luke looked annoyed. “I’m fine. You really don’t need to concern yourself with my problems.”  
“Look, I’ve noticed you hanging out with that Brendon guy, he seems like a bad influence.” Calum thought back to the time when Brendon wanted Calum to ask Luke to let him borrow his razor blade.  
“He’s nice. You just have to get to know him.” Luke looked very annoyed.  
“Are you fucking him?” Calum had been suspecting something going on between them.  
“W-what? Why would you think that?” Luke’s blush answered for him.  
“It’s okay if you are, I’m not gonna judge, you just need to be careful. You could get in serious trouble if someone finds out.”  
Luke rolled his eyes. “I know that. We’re being careful. It’s just nice to have some fun, you know?”  
“So are you like, dating? Or just fuck-buddies?” Calum rested his head on his hand.  
“We prefer the term ‘bros with benefits’.”  
Calum stared at Luke.  
“It’s supposed to be funny!” Luke seemed annoyed.  
“It’s not gonna be so funny when you get kicked out of here and your parents freak the fuck out.”  
“Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay hi yes hello  
> so me and a friend decided that we want to create a library of 5sos fics and we need YOUR HELP  
> so the url is 5sosfanfictionlibrary.tumblr.com if you could just go over and send us some asks with fic recs or ask for some recs or you could even submit your own fics  
> we arent very far along with the site building process yet but we would love to get some publicity.  
> (our inspiration is phanfictioncatalogue.tumblr.com if you want to check them out)  
> pls help us get out into the fandom community! i love you all and thank you for all the support you have given me.


	16. Michael Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay im still here!!!!!!!!! dont hate me for taking so long, i dont even have an excuse. its summer now, like, why am i not writing all the time? who knows? not me. anyways. short lil chap (as always). check the bottom for my shameless self promo!!! thenk u frens

Michael peeked into Calum’s room, trying to see if he was awake. He saw Luke, passed out on top of his blanket, and Calum, rolled over on his side. He stepped into the room and walked quietly to Calum’s bed.   
“Psst. Calum. Pssst!” He whispered, gently nudging the boy.  
Calum grumbled and rolled over, looking at him.  
Michael smiled at how cute Calum looked.  
“Mikey, it’s 2am.” He rubbed his eyes.  
“I couldn’t sleep.” Michael shrugged, indifferent.  
Calum sat up and wrapped his blanket around himself. “Social room?”  
Michael nodded, grabbing Calum’s hand and pulling him up.  
They started to walk out of the room when Luke sat up. “Right, okay. I’m the one that’s fucked.”  
Calum rolled his eyes and laughed. “You saw nothing, Hemmings.”  
“If you say so.” Luke said, flopping back down on his bed.  
“Okay, then.” Michael said as they left the room.  
They walked down the hall quietly, occasionally bumping shoulders. They eventually got to the social room and turned on the dim light.  
Michael sat on the couch and patted the spot next to him. “So, Calum, I had this thought the other day and now it’s all I can think about.”  
Calum sat down and drew his knees to his chest. “What’s the thought?”  
Michael smirked and tilted his head. “Me, sucking your dick.”  
Calum’s jaw dropped and he turned completely red. “W-what?”  
Michael slid slightly closer to Calum. “You know, a blowjob. Are you familiar with the term?”  
Calum nodded, blushing furiously.  
“So, what do you think about my thought?” Michael asked, still smirking.  
“W-what do you mean what do I think?”  
“Do you think it’s a good idea?”  
Calum glanced at the doorway, making Michael know that he was up for the idea.  
“I mean, as long as we’re quiet we shouldn’t get caught.” Michael added, trying to further convince Calum.  
“I g-guess we, or, you, could m-maybe...” He trailed off, avoiding eye contact with Michael.  
“Maybe what?” Michael asked, wanting to hear Calum say it.  
“S-suck my d-dick.” Calum grinned a little bit, still blushing.  
Michael basically lunged towards Calum, who laughed and pushed against Michael gently.  
“I didn’t know you meant right now!”  
“Well, when else?” Michael said, going back to Calum.  
“Maybe not, like, right here.”  
Michael sat back and sighed. “But why not?” He asked in a whiny voice.  
“Because I know for a fact that other people have already done stuff on this couch and that’s just a little gross. Also, I’m very tired and I don’t want to like, fall asleep or something.”  
“I find that very unlikely, but if you insist. Do you want to go back to bed?” Michael asked, knowing that Calum would say yes.  
“Yeah, I guess. But hey, anticipation is half the fun.” Calum giggled getting up off of the couch.  
Michael sighed and got up. “I guess I’ll just have to lay there and think about sucking you off all night.”  
“Or you could, I don’t know, actually sleep?” Calum said, walking towards the door.  
“Easier said than done, and besides, my idea sounds better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hihi so if you forgot from last time, i have this super cool brand new blog, 5sosfanfictionlibrary.tumblr.com, and i would reallyyy like to get some recommendations of fics to add and such and also some promos would be great but dont feel pressured (or do) :)  
> as always i love u guys a lot and thank u for all that support and whatnot  
> okay im done bye


	17. Ashton Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yike? srry guys i didnt completely fall off the face of the earth but i kinda fell off the face of the earth. i had zero motivation and then i didnt have wifi for 3 weeks and then i was v busy but im back with a v short chapter and poor bby ashton. enjoy

Ashton was fucked. He told himself not to get attached to anyone, but here he was falling in love with Luke. He barely even knew the guy, but from eating meals with him and hearing him talk sometimes at group, he knew that it wouldn’t be long until he was completely there.  
He walked through the hall, not able to sleep for the hundredth time that week. He didn’t really know what to do, he had already showered and caught up on all of his school work. After wandering around aimlessly he decided to go to the social room and watch the TV on mute (so he wouldn’t get caught).  
He walked up to the social room and paused, feeling the urge to leave for some reason, but he opened the door anyway.  
“Fuck! Luke!”  
Ashton froze, seeing Luke and one of his hallmates naked on the couch, seemingly very busy.  
“Shit!” Luke exclaimed after seeing Ashton, trying to cover himself up.  
Ashton turned around and ran toward his room, trying not to cry.  
“Ash! Wait!” Luke ran to catch up with Ashton, pulling up his pants as he ran.  
“I’m going to bed now, goodnight!” Ashton said, turning onto their hall.  
“Wait! We need to talk!”  
“Talk about what, exactly?” Ms. Fiona stepped out from the supply closet, where she must have been waiting.  
“Dental hygiene!” Luke scrambled. “See, Ashton here is convinced that it’s best to brush your teeth two times a day, but I say once is enough!”  
“Boys, what’s going on? Don’t think I haven’t noticed everyone shifting about every night.” Ms. Fiona had her hands on her hips like a disappointed mother.  
Ashton sighed. “I couldn’t sleep, so Luke’s keeping me company. We just got into a little argument.”  
“And where does Mister Urie come in this situation?” She asked, gesturing behind them where Brendon stood looking confused.  
“I just woke up, ma’am. I think I was sleepwalking again.” Brendon said, obviously lying.  
“You boys just go to bed, but if I catch you out here again after lights out you will be in serious trouble.  
All three boys nodded and started walking towards their rooms.  
“Ash!” Luke whispered, before going into his room. “We’re talking about this tomorrow.”  
Ashton slipped into his room and looked at his roommate, Patrick, who was reading a book.  
“That sounded fun.” The boy said, closing the book.  
“Why are you awake?” Ashton asked, laying down in his bed.  
“I could ask you the same thing, but I guess I have my answer already. So, dental hygiene, huh?”  
“Shut up.” Ashton closed his eyes to try and process what just happened.  
Ashton basically loved Luke, but Luke was naked with Brendon. Did Luke love Brendon? Did Brendon love Luke? He thought Brendon just loved cutting himself, based on how much he asked him if he had a razor blade.  
By the time the sun came up the only thing that Ashton had concluded was that Luke was madly in love with Brendon and they were passionately making love when he had walked in. Great.


	18. Luke Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> haha im trying friends so here you go two days (nights) in a row! just a lil luke+calum convo

Luke rolled over and looked at Calum, who was laying on his back.  
“Stop staring at me, it’s creepy.”  
“Not staring, just looking.” Luke scratched his ear.  
“”Then take a picture. I can’t sleep if someone’s looking at me.”  
“Well, see, that’s a great idea except that I don’t have a camera. Considering, you know, that we’re in a literal mental hospital.” Luke rolled onto his back.  
Calum sat up and looked at Luke. “Excuse you, it’s a psychiatric facility.”  
“Whatever you say big guy.” Luke rolled over to face the wall.  
“Luke, can I ask you a personal question?” Calum got up and walked over to Luke’s bed.  
Luke sat up. “I guess.”  
Calum sat at the foot of Luke’s bed. “Are you a top or a bottom?”  
Luke laughed, not expecting that to be the question.”Calum! I thought you were innocent!”  
Luke could see Calum’s blush even in the dark room. “I was just wondering! I think Michael wants to have sex soon and I have no idea how!”  
Luke laughed. “Poor baby Calum. Why do you think Michael wants to have sex? Did he say that?”  
“He said he wants to suck my dick so I was just assuming. And you seem to spend a lot of time with Brendon so I thought maybe you could help me out a little bit.”  
“Don’t mention that bastard to me.” Luke frowned.  
“Yikes, what happened there?” Calum rested his chin on his hand.  
“We almost got caught the other night and now he keeps saying that it’s in our better interest to just stay friends, but the thing is, he still has my blade from last time he used it. So now I have no fuck buddy and no blade.” Luke pouted.  
“Aww poor baby Lukey.   
But dude, from the looks of it you could have a new fuck buddy.”  
Luke cocked his head to the side.  
“Ashton, dude. He’s literally always staring at you. He practically drools all over you.”  
Luke thought about it, then shook his head. “No way, we  
‘Re just friends. He doesn’t feel that way about me.”  
“Are you saying that you feel that way about him?” Calum smirked.  
“What? No, I’m saying that he doesn’t feel that way about me.”  
“But you totally like him.”  
Luke rubbed his face. “Calum, can I tell you something?”  
“Are you just trying to change the subject?”  
Luke nodded. “Yes, but also I need to tell somebody.”  
Calum shrugged and gestured for him to go ahead.  
“I have a girlfriend. Like, I certainly don’t have those feelings for her, but she’s completely in love with me.”  
“Luke, why do you have a girlfriend if you are literally the gayest person I have ever met?”  
“Because, I’m not really allowed to be gay. My mom always told me that I didn’t marry a nice girl and have lots of babies that she would literally disown me. I don’t think she meant it in a bad way, she had good intentions, but I just don’t feel like I can let her down like that. It’s different in here though, it’s like I can be whoever I want to be and she’ll never find out about it. Nobody except you guys will know.”  
“That’s fair, dude. My parents always got onto me about being fat, which is why I stopped eating. I didn’t want them to be disappointed in me. Except, they got disappointed when i stopped eating. It’s like, nothing I do is ever good enough for them. No matter what I do. Like, this one time I got a 99% on a test and all they kept saying was “You should have gotten a 100”.”  
Luke shrugged and ran his fingers through his hair. “That’s just how life is, sometimes. There’s always going to be someone not happy with you, but honestly? Fuck ‘em.”  
“Fair enough.” Calum got up and went to his bed. “Wait, you didn’t tell me how to have sex!”  
Luke chuckled and laid down. “Another topic for another day my friend.”


End file.
